Saturday, October 22, 2011

My Love/Hate Relationship with Time

For most of this deployment, I've felt like time has gone by pretty quickly. I'm sure I've complained about him being gone a lot, but for the most part I've felt pretty ok. And I was overjoyed when the month of October not only finally arrived but seemed to be flying by at lightning speed. At least it was until the beginning of this week. :/

At the beginning of this week I realized that he would be home soon. Like really soon. Like in a matter of weeks. And that's when time seems to have come to a screeching halt. So. not. fair. I've even had a super busy week at work, which usually helps move things right along. But not this week. It seems to have had the opposite effect. I've tried not to get too down about it but I'm really struggling. I vaguely remember this feeling from his first deployment, that he was going to be home so soon that it seemed nearly unattainable. I've even tried making a list of all the stuff that's going on and everything I want to do before he gets home. It's not helping. All I want to do is crawl in bed and not come out until it's time to pick him up from the airport. Pathetic, right?

Seriously, even looking at the calendar makes me sad. Because even though it's so close it seems so far away. Maybe it's because I don't know exactly when he's coming home yet. And that information seems so much more pertinent now that he's coming home in a matter of weeks. I've even tried making a list of all the stuff I want to get accomplished in the next few weeks (broken down by day of course), but I got stuck.

Any of you ladies have any advice for making the next couple weeks easier? Or do I just need to put my big girl panties on and deal with it?

Edited to add:
Ok, so the week is over and I feel a whole lot better. I'm not sure why. I just do. I had a little mini-meltdown on Friday and afterwards (in addition to feeling like a fool), I realized that it's really all going to be ok. Manny will come home. I will make it through the rest of football season. Everything is fine. Sometimes I lose sight of that and get very overwhelmed.

Anyway, I feel better now and am determined not to get so down and overwhelmed. I only have a couple weeks left, I can do this!

1 comment:

  1. It's easy to get overwhelmed at the end. Lots of emotions to deal with. Can't wait for him to be home for you!!