I've really struggled with whether or not to write about this. I may have mentioned it here and there with a sentence or two but I've never truly addressed it. (Not on the blog at least.)
I think I'm experiencing quarter-life malaise. I don't know if it's a "real thing" or not but I'm reading this book where the author describes her experience with what she calls midlife malaise (except that I'm 26, so it's quarter life) and I was like...omg, that's me! She talks about how she has this wonderful life with this amazing husband, beautiful house, etc etc but that she wasn't truly appreciating those things. She talks about being constantly irritable and taking her wonderful family and wonderful life for granted.
I was hesitant to put this into words for several reasons:
1. I don't like airing my dirty laundry on the internet.
2. My family reads this blog and I don't want to worry them.
3. I'm afraid of what others will think.
Don't worry guys. I'm not sad, not depressed. Just experiencing a lack of motivation, lack of excitement, and lack of general optimism and positivity that used to really be a part of who I was. I don't feel bad, I just don't feel good!
So I've started this book called The Happiness Project, and have had lots of in depth talks with my awesome husband and feel like I'm on the road to getting out of this rut I'm calling my quarter-life malaise.
On of the ways I'm trying to do this is really working on myself. I'm not trying to change myself, just trying to get back to being me! I'm not the kind of girl who lazes about and doesn't do anything for days on end and yet I've been doing that a lot lately. There's a whole mess of projects to be done in my house and I just walk past them every day. I want to do them and I want to have the motivation to do them!
I expect I'll be talking about this more frequently now that my "secret" is out. There's a lot of principles I'm reading about in the book and just things I'm learning while doing this soul searching that I'd love to share.
One of the first things I rediscovered is that I love to write. That would seem pretty obvious since I have this blog but you'd be surprised how many bloggers don't actually like the writing part. Anyway, my point is that I like writing. I like writing quality posts so one of the things I want to do more of is spend time on my writing. (I've also always wanted to write a book but that's a whole other post in itself.) It's not enough for me to just slap some words on a page and call it a post. I don't get enough joy out of that. And I fear that's what I do more often than not. So one of the first things I want to do is focus on writing and really feeling good about what I've written before posting.
I'm not sure what else I'll be sharing along the journey but hopefully in the interest of working on my writing (and just sharing in general) I'll be posting quite a bit about what I'm learning and experiencing.
Ps, just in case you're concerned...I feel happier already. :)