Monday, October 15, 2012

How I Accidentally Quit My Job

Last week, I went in for my normal Friday meeting with my boss. It was a rather frustrating meeting because upon presenting him with information I had gathered for a project last week, he basically told me it was all wrong. I had asked for guidance and direction on this project beforehand and was told to just "do whatever [I] thought." Things like this have been getting me more and more frustrated with my job but felt like I needed to stick it out until I found something else. The universe had other plans.

We got into a conversation about how I was feeling about the job. I had been having doubts for a few weeks but was trying to remain positive and I really didn't want to tell my boss that. Because let's face it, I was thankful to be employed. And to be honest, I really did think at the outset that this was going to be an amazing job! Maybe the pay wasn't great, maybe I was still working nights and weekends (something I swore off when we moved), but for some reason, I really wanted it to work! After a little prying I told my boss that I didn't think this job was going to work out long term. I felt foolish because I had been trying so hard to make it work and since I had only been there for about a month and a half. I guess that's why they make 90-day probationary periods, right?

I left the office on Friday totally deflated and in tears. I mean, I didn't really want this job anymore anyway but I still felt like a failure. So what gives? Why the tears? Some may say that I'm a little too emotional and that could account for the crying. And while that may be completely and totally true, I also felt guilty for being happy about accidentaly quitting my job. And I also felt guilty about no longer bringing home a paycheck, small as it was.

Fast forward a few days and I'm feeling much better. I already have some leads on new jobs and am excited to spend a little time being a SAHW (stay-at-home-wife) again. The last time I didn't embrace it like I should have. I also want to be a little a lot more discerning about my job selection this time around. I'm pretty sure I said something like that before but I didn't follow my own advice very well. I don't want to look back on my time in Nebraska and see my resume littered with 2-3 month stints at various jobs. I'm sure I'll find something, I just need to have some patience, something I am usually sorely lacking. ;)

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