This evening I had an awesome catch-up phone session with my BFF. One of the (many) topics that came up was the idea of not being truly exceptional at everything (or anything). While we were talking about that it got me thinking about blogging again. I've been meaning to for.....a long while. I even posted a come-back post or two after I took down my newer blog and decided to come back here, to my original blog. So you may be wondering what stopped me from making a full on comeback...laziness? lack of desire? super boring life and nothing to write about?
Nope. Fear of being mediocre.
I used to read all these blogs written by these people who are so freaking successful at it. It used to be fun to watch, but at some point I started to let it demotivate me. Rather than just enjoying those blogs for what they were, entertaining reading material, I started comparing myself to them in an unproductive way. Why don't I have a million sponsors who want nothing more than to pay me for my writing and my time? Why can't I perfectly schedule my social media posts to drive the most traffic to my blog? Why don't I have amazing pictures and headers to go with every post? Why don't I look that good in skinny jeans??!!
The easiest answer? Because I don't want to.
This may seem counterintuitive, but if I really wanted to be a spectacular blogger I'd be working much harder at it. If I really wanted this to be my real job, I'd be busting my butt day and night to make that happen. Maybe it's ok that I'm just 'weekend warrior' blogger. Maybe it's ok that I'm mostly entertaining and a decent writer and this is a hobby that I enjoy. In fact, not just maybe. All of that is definitely ok.
So here I am. Writing again, not sure how long it will last or where it will go but it feels good to write again.